I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
