dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
