White coat. Heels.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
