I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
