my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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