If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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