I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize