How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
