My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
