We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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