Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
