his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
