69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
