Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize