Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
