i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
