how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
