yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
