wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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