He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
