just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I deserve this hangover.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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