Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
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