my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
