What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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