oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
