dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
