Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
