she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
