That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
