even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize
