She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
