UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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