guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
