I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
i think my cat just said my name.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
