you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
nutella sex= disaster
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I use my feet as sexual weapons
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
