I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
