I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize