oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
