You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize