how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
