the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
even my farts smell like vagina
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
