who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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