You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
