My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
