white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
