ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
