does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize