I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
