I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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