Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you win again, gameday.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize