What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
