Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
