PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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