I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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