Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry jamesfrancofasho hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(509): View more from Washington

im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Used tampon in my purse. That from you?

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(916): View more from California

The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.

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(616): View more from Michigan

our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.

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(434): View more from Virginia

i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level

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(941): View more from Florida

Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.

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(618): View more from Illinois

Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.

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