How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
