Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
