I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
