The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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