i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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