cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
