i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
